Mouthing off for fun and profit

Well, fun anyway.

Today I was interviewed for an American political documentary. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy being opinionated and verbose.

Watch this space for further details as they become available.

What a difference 15 minutes makes

When I went to sign on today, the dole officer looked at his Computer Screen of Death and Humiliation (TM) and noticed I wasn't getting any money through. He sent me to a little booth to phone a call centre in Glasgow, whose own Computer Screen of Death and Humiliation (TM) determined that I wasn't eligible for dole. Or perhaps the National Insurance Screen of Death and Etc. was just f**ked up. Could I please bring in the last two years' P60s, a blood sample, and a hair from a unicorn's tail? That would sort everything out. Probably.

Great. Just what I needed.

When I left the dole office and turned my mobile on, I had a message offering me a job. Not a writing job sadly, but nevertheless a job that pays proper money and will keep me in food, shelter, and PlayStation games. I start in a couple of weeks. Take that Computer Screen of Death and Humiliation (TM)!

To celebrate, I'm declaring myself on holiday for the rest of the month.

Peer pressure

It's that time again -- my screenwriting buddies are challenging each other to write scripts to stupid deadlines. I thought I'd wheedled my way out of doing any more of these challenges until July, but yesterday I suddenly found myself agreeing to write a 30-minute comedy piece (probably a TV sitcom in my case) during the month of May. The same month I'm moving house. You can fit me for my straitjacket now.

Looks like my only competition for this challenge is Piers. I fear he may score a victory by walkover. But then again, fear of ridicule is quite a good motivator (and if I don't deliver, ridiculed I will most certainly be), so watch this space.

EDIT: It turns out William is in as well, so I'm in for twice the ridicule if I fail. On the other hand, if I succeed and both William and Piers fail, I'll get to dish out twice the ridicule. Swings and roundabouts...

Dole scum

This morning I'll be doing something I've never done before -- signing on. Does this mean I'm a proper artist now?